I just don’t get where you’re coming up with the opinion that it’s *likely* that she will have a tough financial future. How do you know this? If her husband is in a position to retire at all it’s likely that they have a house, it’s paid off, they have retirement savings, etc. So if all that is split in half the only thing they will likely have to do is downgrade their homes.
The LW did not provide enough details. But if she’s never worked, financial independence might be tough for her. I could be wrong. Maybe they are very well off and money is not a problem. We don’t for sure.
With two deadbeat daughters (well, okay, one at least) and a grand daughter that they had to raise as their own, it seems rather doubtful to me that money is in any great abundance. And even if it IS split even steven between them, she will so NOT be keeping the house, but rather living in a shitty apartment, i suspect…
I can’t wait to divorce my husband!
Also, if somebody is NOT happy about retirement, that suggests to me that he is being forced into it by his workplace…
The LW says her husband has a shitty attitude, but her own letter doesn’t exactly make her sound like a great big ball of fun.
What’s got me bothered is that she’e been married for 40 years and just NOW she decided she can’t stand him
You know who else isn’t a big ball of fun? Me. I tried taking Monday and Tuesday this week off of work to decompress and instead I got 3 work calls yesterday, ended up having to work remotely for about an hour, and got a bitchy call from my boss at 9:00 a.m. this morning, and then ended up coming in at 11. No vacation goes unpunished.
Were the other 39 years just as shitty? That makes a big difference because if she could stand him for the first 30 and got a problem with the last 10 my hunch is that it’s probably more salvageable than if she regretted it from day one. . This first step would be to identify why he’s such a pain and see if something can be done about it. I wouldn’t be surprised that he’s pissed off about retiring and that could take a while to work itself out. But I would try this before moving out without assets or any job prospect. . Splitsville sounds good to the 20 something in this crowd but this LW will have it tougher than a 20 year old hottie with a college degree. Not that LW should stand a bad temper but she might want to put more effort into this marriage than typical facepalm friday MOAs. . Wendy, Where did the thumbs go?
I understand her being married 40 years myself. I stood home and raised 3 children and a grandson who will be leaving for the military next year. He’s a mental abuser Ted Bundy level. BUT! I will soon be financially able . Yes, I dealt 40 years of this nut case but I will get 50% of everything including his income, I can’t wait. I told my daughters NEVER financially depend on a man and they don’t thank God. My husband is a schophrenic and I found out after the marriage, I know I will be extremely happy after I divorce him I lived nightmare. I would be here for days if I told you all the shit I put up with.