10. Now, onto anal sex with a penis or dildo

10. Now, onto anal sex with a penis or dildo

If it feels good and comfortable, continue. “If it’s too much, it’s okay to end that session and then try again another day,” says Dr. Goldstein. “I instruct most of my clients to use a small plug for two weeks, then both a small and medium plug for the following two weeks, and then finally a large plug for two weeks.” Basically, going from zero to hero (err, penis or dildo) in one night is asking a lot of your anal sphincters. (Related: What Are Anal Beads and How Do You Use Them?)

Why does it take so long? Because your anal sphincters are a muscle, like your biceps. Exercising them increases your ability to flex and relax them on command. “Remember, since your anus is always in contraction mode, deliberate muscle relaxation is key for getting it into tip-top shape, and that takes exercise and practice,” says Dr. Goldstein.

And in case sitiweb incontri white site gratis you’re worried, “it would take a lot to stretch [the anus] to the point where it couldn’t come back,” says Van Kirk. “You might just relax after the first time having anal sex, which makes it feel like it’s gotten bigger.”

9. Or a finger.

If you don’t have a toy on hand (ha), anal fingering is a good option. This will help both you and your partner learn how your anus works, anatomically. “The nice thing about finger dilation is that your partner can massage the muscles in the anus to get them to fully relax, which should lead to the most pleasurable engagement,” explains Dr. Goldstein. (BTW, did you know that being afraid to finger yourself is actually quite common?)

Generally, one finger is more than enough. “Just do what feels right and always be aware of your limitations,” says Dr. Goldstein. “There are no awards given to whoever can get the most fingers inside.”

Some tips for using fingers to prepare for anal sex: “Long or jagged fingernails can lead to localized injury,” says Dr. Goldstein. He suggests trimming and filing your nails so that there are no sharp edges or hangnails when it’s time for your butt sex sesh. Yikes. (Same goes for vaginal penetration, ICYDK.) To be extra careful (and clean!) you can use finger condoms or gloves.

If you and your partner have comfortably prepared for anal sex this far, pat yourself on the back (or bum), grab the lube and get at it – slowly

You feel it, you like it, you want it? You got it. There’s a long list of the best anal sex positions you can try, but for your first-time, doggy style, missionary, and spooning are best.

“Practice breathing deeply as your partner inserts a quarter-inch at a time,” suggests O’Reilly. “As the depth increases, practice mindfulness by tuning into your breath. You’ll likely find that your muscles relax as your heart rate slows.” (Also read up on tantric sex, which is all about going super slow.)

As your partner is filling you, play with other parts of your body that bring you pleasure at the same time, she suggests. “You might use your hand to rub yourself or use a powerful vibrator against your clit to ensure that you enjoy the entire experience.” (Like you needed convincing.)

Your partner may also lend a helping hand. But heads up: If your partner was using their fingers in your tush, they absolutely must wash their hands before touching your vagina, vulva, or clit, says Kim Langdon, M.D., ob-gyn at Parenting Pod in Valley Cottage, New York. (More on this below.)